Today we all played the famous junior high school game called MASH. Here are the results.
Jason - Lives in a mansion. Drives a '68 version of his current car. Has a creepy tall poodle as a pet. Is married to Courtney Kardashian.
Sean - Lives in a house. Drives the Tesla Electric Car. Has a grizzly bear as a pet. Is married to Kat Von D (bummer dude).
Ed - Lives in a mansion. Drives a '67 Road Runner. Has a domestic raccoon for a pet. Is marries to his girlfriend Sunshine (Ahh...).
Aidan - Lives in a mansion. Drives an original Mini. Has a black panther as a pet. Is married to Bridgette Boudreau.
Mel - Lives in a house. Drives a '62 Rolls-Royce. Has Professor Kitty for a pet. Is married to Christian Slater when he was in the film True Romance.
Ellie - Realized this was a game for little girls and rightly opted out to maintain her self respect.
Monday, December 5, 2011
11/30/2011
Jason - "I talk about the Kardashians everyday."
Sean - "Yeah and I'm sick of it."
Jason - "Okay."
Sean - "I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE KARDSHIANS FOR ONCE!"
Jason -"Okay."
(pause)
Sean - "So, you know your girl?"
Jason - "Courtney."
Sean - "PREGNAAAANT!"
Jason - "NO!"
Sean - "Yeah and I'm sick of it."
Jason - "Okay."
Sean - "I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE KARDSHIANS FOR ONCE!"
Jason -"Okay."
(pause)
Sean - "So, you know your girl?"
Jason - "Courtney."
Sean - "PREGNAAAANT!"
Jason - "NO!"
11/16/2011
Jason - "I ate too much."
(pause)
Jason - " I feel bloated."
(pause)
Jason - "I don't feel confident enough to do this tattoo."
(pause)
Jason - " I feel bloated."
(pause)
Jason - "I don't feel confident enough to do this tattoo."
11/5/2011
Ed - "Are they legally allowed to touch you in haunted houses? Cause I don't like no one touchin' me."
10/30/2011
Ed - "I'm gonna dye my hair platinum blond but leave my beard brown."
Jason - "You'll look like Fabio's drug dealer."
Jason - "You'll look like Fabio's drug dealer."
Friday, July 29, 2011
7/23/2011
Jason - "Have you ever seen The Cure live?"
Sean - "Yeah, I saw them at The Oakland Coliseum."
Jason - "Thats where I saw Justin Bieber!"
Sean - "Did it seem like he was singing right to you?"
Jason - "Are you implying that he wasn't?"
Sean - "Yeah, I saw them at The Oakland Coliseum."
Jason - "Thats where I saw Justin Bieber!"
Sean - "Did it seem like he was singing right to you?"
Jason - "Are you implying that he wasn't?"
7/23/2011
Jason - (to me) "I'd like to get you dressed up at The Dress Barn and take you out on the town. I'd bet you in a pantsuit could whip this place together."
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
7/13/2011
Sean: "Could you please get me a cookie?"
Me: "Yeah."
Jason: "Cookie?!"
Andre: "I want a cookie!"
Jason: "Are you getting a cookie?"
Andre: "Yeah I'm getting a cookie!"
Jason: "I want a cookie."
(I bring them cookies)
Jason: "Look at the size of this cookie Sean!"
Sean: "Oh I know all about those cookies. This aint my first rodeo."
(Jason eats cookie)
Jason: "Oh, it comes in layers. First the bitterness of the cocoa and then the sweetness of the fudge. They separate and then come together and hit you in the back of the mouth."
Sean: "Its like chocolate Jiu-Jitsu."
Andre: "It makes me want chocolate milk."
Sean: "You gotta fight chocolate with chocolate."
Jason: "That sounds like a baked goods cook book by Metallica."
(After the cookie)
Jason: "Andre did you eat that cookie?"
Andre: "Not yet bro. Did you?"
Jason: "Yeah."
Andre: "You ate that whole thing?!"
Jason: "Yeah, I'm in a chocolate stratosphere."
Andre: "I can't believe you ate that whole thing."
Jason: "I feel crazy. I feel like I'm looking straight ahead, but my peripheral vision is looking up to the sky."
(moments pass)
Jason: "I ate that cookie and I drank that coffee and now I feel warm."
Me: "Yeah."
Jason: "Cookie?!"
Andre: "I want a cookie!"
Jason: "Are you getting a cookie?"
Andre: "Yeah I'm getting a cookie!"
Jason: "I want a cookie."
(I bring them cookies)
Jason: "Look at the size of this cookie Sean!"
Sean: "Oh I know all about those cookies. This aint my first rodeo."
(Jason eats cookie)
Jason: "Oh, it comes in layers. First the bitterness of the cocoa and then the sweetness of the fudge. They separate and then come together and hit you in the back of the mouth."
Sean: "Its like chocolate Jiu-Jitsu."
Andre: "It makes me want chocolate milk."
Sean: "You gotta fight chocolate with chocolate."
Jason: "That sounds like a baked goods cook book by Metallica."
(After the cookie)
Jason: "Andre did you eat that cookie?"
Andre: "Not yet bro. Did you?"
Jason: "Yeah."
Andre: "You ate that whole thing?!"
Jason: "Yeah, I'm in a chocolate stratosphere."
Andre: "I can't believe you ate that whole thing."
Jason: "I feel crazy. I feel like I'm looking straight ahead, but my peripheral vision is looking up to the sky."
(moments pass)
Jason: "I ate that cookie and I drank that coffee and now I feel warm."
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
1/3/2011
Ed - "I watched the new Willow Smith single; I Whip My Hair Back."
Jason - "I haven't heard that one yet."
Ed - "Its really good."
Jason - "Really?"
Ed - "No. But it made me whip my hair back."
Jason - "I can't listen to that song. It makes me have phantom hair. It gives me whiplash."
12/18/2010
Today everyone in the shop listened to a youtube recording of a 911 call. The call was made by a police officer who had eaten "special" brownies with his wife and now believed that they were both dying.
Later that day everyone at the shop ate a special brownie.
Later that day everyone at the shop ate a special brownie.
12/3/2010
Jason gets drunk before Andre tattoos him. In preparation for the tattoo Jason announces to Andre - "I need to take my shorts off in order for you to get the whole battle."
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
12/2/2010
Jason - "Do you remember when Paris Hilton got arrested?"
Me - "Yeah."
Jason - "I'm just sayin, those were the days."
Me - "Yeah."
Jason - "I'm just sayin, those were the days."
12/1/2010
Andre, Jason, Ed and Sean discuss whether they would rather be killed by a tiger or a shark. A few decisions are made instantly while others are debated for the rest of the day. Those who are solid in their decisions try to convert the unsure ones to their side. This lasts the remainder of the day.
10/28/2010
Andre and I are the only ones at the shop today.
Andre sleeps on the massage table for several hours while I watch and text friends.
Andre wakes up and we call it an early day.
Andre sleeps on the massage table for several hours while I watch and text friends.
Andre wakes up and we call it an early day.
10/20/2010
Jason, Andre and I are the only ones at the shop today. They discuss "the light you see when you die" all day.
10/13/2010
Ed and Jason debate whether or not a man has ever really walked on the moon.
The debate started at 12:45pm and was still taking place as I was leaving at 7pm.
The topic was briefly mentioned again the following day and through out the rest of the month of October.
The debate started at 12:45pm and was still taking place as I was leaving at 7pm.
The topic was briefly mentioned again the following day and through out the rest of the month of October.
9/22/2010
Today Ed, Jason and I went on a "road trip" to the giant super Longs Drug Store across town. At the Super Longs Ed searched for a "cute" night light and Jason tried on American flag bandanas.
Later that day Jason said "Dating is to me and Ed what black holes were to scientists in the 1980s. All theory."
Later that day Jason said "Dating is to me and Ed what black holes were to scientists in the 1980s. All theory."
9/18/2010
Ellie has a regular customer who has titled himself Krispy (Chris P.) and enjoys asking random questions and then cutting you off in the middle of your answer to loudly announce a random fact about himself.
Example:
Krispy: "Would you rather it be sunny on your worst day or foggy on your best day?"
Ellie: "Uuumm...I guess I'd rather it be fog-"
Krispy: "I LOVE olive oil but I HATE root beer."
Example:
Krispy: "Would you rather it be sunny on your worst day or foggy on your best day?"
Ellie: "Uuumm...I guess I'd rather it be fog-"
Krispy: "I LOVE olive oil but I HATE root beer."
7/29/2010
Ed tells me about how he and his old girlfriend took in an old abandoned cat named Randolf and would dress him up in a new outfit every day. Ed claims that Randolf "loved" being dressed up.
7/19/2010
Sean says that having a band is like having a toupee. Every old guy has to have one in order to hold on to their youth.
7/1/2010
Ed decides he wants to become a lawyer and his only argument technique will be to say "Helllloooo?" in a gay condescending voice.
Later that same day he also decides that he is "done with Hollywood girls" and is now moving on to Bollywood girl.
Later that same day he also decides that he is "done with Hollywood girls" and is now moving on to Bollywood girl.
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